Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Today's the big day! 8 years ago today, Joe and I were married. Last year I created a video slideshow of our 7 years together so you can look at that if you want to. This year, instead of the same-ol-same-ol wedding memories, I think I'll share some of the funnier ones.

This is my favorite wedding photo - taken by our friend Brandon. He also took a few extreme-closeups of our guests with the disposable cameras and I'm pretty sure he wore his Billy Bob teeth while he was doing it. Really, I needed an alternate personality or evil twin to go around taking THESE pictures, because they're the things I wanted to remember.

It's too bad I know so many great photographers right now because it makes me sad about our wedding pictures. There must have not been many photographers to choose from in the small town where I grew up because I think I ended up with Ralph's Photo Hut and Bait Shop. He seriously took some weird, mechanical and boring pictures - all in front of this lame, Prom-style backdrop of white columns. His style has become one of my big pet peeves in wedding pictures - Innumerable Family Combinations. "OK let's get the bride and her sisters and girl cousins. OK now the groom and his parents and great-uncles twice removed. Now we'll get everyone who is wearing red, purple or mauve on the left..." and so on.

I hear we had good food at the reception but I couldn't eat anything. There were barbecue meatballs and smoked sausages and All Things That Will Stain a White Dress. Before pictures I really wanted a drink and my dad went and got me a cherry Coke but wouldn't let me actually hold the glass (I'm a klutz). So I stood there, leaning on a stool because I couldn't sit down and wrinkle the back of the dress, with my dad holding this cherry Coke that I sipped out of cocktail straws. That's something I wish I had a picture of - it's a sweet memory I'll always have of my dad.

We got the dresses, tuxes, accessories from the same store (out of business now) and the owner was... less than organized. In addition to ordering the WRONG bridesmaid dresses, she messed up all the measurements for the tuxes. Joe ended up with a vest that was too tight and pants that were too short. I could hear him talking about it when I was unwrapping the tiara I was so excited about... which came with the veil sewed on so that it was giant, poufy and coming out of my left ear. I think the store owner hated me. When we got back to my house I ran crying to both our moms. Joe's mom spent hours sewing the veil on the right way, 13-year-old Jackie Beth practiced styling my hair (the girl who was supposed to do it decided at the last second to not come) and our dads and groomsmen sorted all the tuxes until they mixed-and-matched one that fit Joe nicely. The rest of them made do with what was left.

Some crack-addled florist took the instructions I gave her (5 white lilies wrapped in ribbon) and presented a ghastly creation of tulle-wrapped ferns, baby's breath and un-bloomed lily buds still so tightly furled they looked like white cigars. To top it off the whole thing was dripping wet. I swear I'm not making this up. My mom had to hack off most of the stems and ribbon and dry the bouquet right before the ceremony - I told her I would carry the ugly thing because no one would remember anyway. I did most of the pictures with the throwing-bouquet though. It was slightly less ugly and dry.

I guess I should have gone for some puffier sleeves and I could have done Small Town Wedding - Napoleon Dynamite style. It must be my love for the bizarre because things like this have continued to happen through the last 8 years. Really though, what this all shows is how great our family is. No matter what happened, everyone would just pull together, fix what they could and laugh about what they couldn't. This is a great way to live your life and I hope it's a lesson I'll never forget.


AMS said...

Sounds a bit like my reception! Something I would love to redo someday, just to see if we could get it right the second time around! But they are great memories and you can so laugh about it now! Congratgulations on eight years! You two are perfect together!

Kelsey said...

Congratulations, Jeri. You guys are so cute!

The Mathews Family said...

Shelby Dawn just came up and said, "It's the princess and a queen!". I'm not sure which one Joe is. LOL! You have such a great attitude about the way things turned out. The stress of planning a wedding is one of the reasons we called up our moms and told them we were getting married... in 9 days. They planned it and we had no expectations. And it was wonderful!!!

Happy 8 years you guys!

Valerie S said...

This is Becca's Mom. I love your blog, you are hilarious.

lori parkhurst said...

Sounds hilarious!