Smittins is an accomplished ruiner of outfits. Lose your focus for one second and he'll pee an entire change of clothes. Plus the new diaper. And any other dry materials within a 3-foot radius.
Don't let the pudgy sweetness fool you, he's endowed with crafty baby skills. He's laid off this particular trick just long enough to lull me into a false sense of security. I was changing his diaper today and thought to myself 'self, it's sure been a nice long while since I've had to change all of baby's clothes along with his diaper.'
One should not think these things, even in the privacy of one's own head, because baby will employ his super-sensitive Power To Read Minds (the power that lets him know you're about to lay him in his crib, allowing him to snap himself wide awake and start batting himself in the eyeball with renewed vigor) and choose that exact second to whiz all over his pants, socks, onesie, twosie and overshirt. And possibly his own face.
And then he will look you straight in the eye and giggle. Fer realz people.
As punishment, I should have dunked him in the ever-loving mess that is the kids' bathtub. But he got to try out the Bumbo seat and the kitchen sink instead.
The indignity. It can't be that bad, right?
I thought not.