This pregnancy has gone by in weird chunks. There's the first bit, where you're convinced that you're going to be sick for the rest of eternity (because that's just how long the first trimester lasts). Then time lurched its way along to now - 24 weeks. Sprinkle/Baby Star Wars/Nameless Fetus is apparently the size of a Chicago dog... at least according to the last 'this week in your pregnancy' update I read with Minnie, who is obsessed with knowing how big the baby is. So there you go.
Mmmmm, Chicago dog...
Anyway, I'm more than halfway through this pregnancy and I'm still waiting to feel excited. Forget excited, I'm willing to settle for one day without intense baby-related stress. Where is the call-in show or helpful newspaper advice column for my questions?
Dear Addie - My oldest daughter had terrible colic and didn't sleep a full night until she was two years old. If we repeat this trend, how will I keep from throwing myself off the deck? And what will I do with the two sprained wrists that is all that will result from throwing myself off the deck?
Dear Addie - There is a juvenile Labrador retriever masquerading as my four-year-old son. How will I keep this oversized, energetic, slobbering animal from tackling a newborn baby?
And speaking of two older children, dear Addie, how will I keep them from feeling neglected, forgetting to do their homework, going to school dressed like street urchins, eating nothing but Pop Tarts and eventually sinking into a life of crime and door-to-door alarm sales?
Maybe this seems excessive, but these are the kinds of worries that keep me from sleeping at night and from doing absolutely anything to prepare for the baby during the day. I have a big box of boy clothes waiting to go through - it sits. People are asking if there are things that we need - I pretty much don't think about it. Eventually I need to move the two existing children into one room to get the other ready for baby - I don't. I can't figure out what is wrong with me.
I have issues. That's what blogs are for, right?