or: Reason # 317 We Don't Have Pets
Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess, her mother the Queen, and a Fairy Grandmother (who was also the Queen's mother-in-law.)
The Fairy Grandmother had threatened on numerous occasions to purchase an enchanted aquarium for the Princess. The Queen feigned deafness whenever this plan was suggested. The wiley Fairy Grandmother snuck the aquarium into the Princess's Christmas presents and cast a spell which got the Princess all excited about raising fish.
The Princess, who has been known to form unrealistic expectations about aquariums, pets, toys and life in general, immediately began plotting to fill her 2-gallon aquarium with several breeds of tropical fish, sharks and possibly a small whale.
The Queen resigned herself to travel to Ye Olde PetSmarte in search of a very tiny whale.
After viewing completely every possible type of fish and convincing the Princess that neither a rat nor a parrot would be very happy living in an aquarium, the Queen was able to purchase 2 small and allegedly durable fish to return home with the Princess. They were named Silvermist and Shadow. The Queen took several really lousy pictures to post on Her Royal Blog.
And Shadow (their names were originally Squirt and Bat Fish but the Princess wanted something a little more enchanting.)
The Queen let the Princess decorate the aquarium with all manner of pink plants, a fish cave and shiny jewel rocks. Everyone was pleased.
The fish lived happily ever after... for 1 week. Then an evil spell was cast on Shadow and he was turned into a female and spawned 28 baby fishsticks, which both fish proceeded to gobble up. The tank got stinkier and stinkier (possibly in a misguided attempt at escape). One day the Princess noticed that they were both floating upside down. She laughed her head off and we transferred them into the toilet so they could swim out to sea.